I’m in love with my best friend and I'm not quite sure if the biggest part of the heartache is knowing we’ll probably never be together or never getting the time to tell him what I’m really going thru on the inside..I thought if i agreed to just being physical relationship maybe it would help me see him as just a friend with benefits and no longer thinking what it felt like to be in his arms and now i long for that feeling non stop. The way he talks about his wife to me i can see how much he loves her and i have to put on a smile and take the backseat while I’m in love with him and longing for his touch. Times it think if it wouldn't just be easier tell him i can’t stand to be his friend cause i love him and I’m hurting that much inside that it breaks me down just to see him, but I’ve never had a friend like him and can’t stand the thought of life without him a part of it, so i been trying to keep it in. I’m willing to bury my pain put on a smile and be there if he need me only thing is each time i see him again it’s like i just took another leap forward in love. I can't lose my truest friend I’ve ever had, he’s off with his family as i sit here trying to remember how to breathe as tears roll down my face….
